IF A WOMAN SAYS................... SHE MEANS

40-ish .................................. 49
Adventurous .......................... Nymphomaniac
Artistic.................................Depressive
Athletic................................. Flat-chested
Beautiful ............................... Pathological liar
Bubbly .................................. Never shuts up
Contagious Smile .................... Bring your penicillin
Educated .............................. Opinionated
Emotionally Secure.................. Medicated
Feisty..................................Offensive
Feminist ............................... Fat, hairy ball-buster
Free Spirit............................. Substance user
Friendly................................Homely and / or promiscuous
Friendship First....................... Trying to live down reputation as slut
Fun.....................................Annoying
Gentle.................................Comatose
Good Listener........................ Borderline Autistic
Gregarious............................ Drunk and / or promiscuous
New-Age.............................. All body hair, all the time
Old fashioned........................ Lights out, missionary position only
Open minded......................... Ugly and / or desperate
Outgoing ............................Loud
Passionate...........................Loud and manic
Professional ........................Real witch
Rubanesque........................... Grossly fat
Romantic .............................Looks better by candlelight
Voluptuous............................ Very fat
Wants soulmate...................... Borderline stalker
Young at heart....................... Old