Unhealthy food

Red meat is awful.
Soft drinks erode the stomach lining.
Chinese food is loaded with MSG,
and few of us realize the long-term harm
caused by the pollutants in our drinking water.
"But there is one thing that is the most dangerous of all.
Can anyone here tell me what food it is that causes
the most grief and suffering for years after eating it?"
A 75-year-old man in the front row stood up and said,
.
.
.
.

"Wedding cake.

Nik je zakon

  

Osobe s oštećenjem govora gostuju u emisiji "Bumerang"

Pogled s visine

World's Tallest Apartment Building
Uploaded by TheWalkingDude

Irish viagra

An Irish woman of advanced age visited her physician

to ask his help in reviving her husband's libido.

"What about trying Viagra? asks the doctor.

"Not a chance", she said. "He won't even take an aspirin."

"Not a problem", replied the doctor. "Give him an

Irish Viagra. Drop it into his coffee. He won't even

taste it. Give it a try and call me in a week to let

me know how things went."



It wasn't a week later that she called the doctor, who directly

inquired as to progress. The poor dear exclaimed, "Oh, faith,

bejaysus and begorrah! T'was horrid. Just terrible, doctor!"



"Really... what happened?" asked the doctor.

"Well, I did as you advised and slipped it in his coffee and the

effect was almost immediate. He jumped straight up, with a twinkle

in his eye, and with his pants a-bulging fiercely!



With one swoop of his arm, he sent the cups and tablecloth flying,

ripped me clothes to tatters and took me then and there,

making wild, mad, passionate love to me on the tabletop!

It was a nightmare, I tell you, an absolute nightmare!"



"Why so terrible?" asked the doctor, "Do you mean the

sex your husband provided wasn't good"?



"Oh, no, no, no, doctor, the sex was fine indeed!

'Twas the best sex I've had in 25 years! But sure as

I'm sittin' here, I'll never be able to show me face

in Starbucks again".

 

Nadgrobna ploča

 

Busha nikad dosta

 

Nekad i sad

 

Auto oglasi

 

Very cool illusion

Klikni naslov! 

REKLI SU O ŽENAMA ...

Što vrijedi ako je žena mlada, a nije lijepa ili je lijepa, a nije mlada - Euripid La Rochefoukauld

Žena je jedino stvorenje koje može plakati ili se smijati zbog istog razloga, a često i u isto vrijeme - Moliere

Ne daj se Ines, ni mama ti se nije dala - Rade Sherbedgia

Riba ribi riba ribu - Madonna

Muškarac je najslabiji kad mu lijepa žena šapuće da je snažan - Bela IV

Nije zanimljivo ono što vam žene kažu, zanimljivo je ono što prešute - Shakespeare

Postoji samo matematička i dijalektička logika, sve ostalo je – ženska - Boby Fisher

Bez žene nema sreće ni nesreće - Napoleon

Muškarac je sretan sa bilo kojom ženom dok je ne zavoli - Petrarca

A žena je čudna ptica, uvijek joj srce kuca za nekim grubijanom koji dobro kljuca! - Milan Bandit

Ako vas žena pobjeđuje u tenisu, promijenite sport. Ako vas žena pobjeđuje u boksu, promijenite ženu - Mohamed Ali

Možda ženama mozak i nije najslabija točka... ali je točka! - Cro Cop, zastupnik hrvatskog naroda u Saboru

Ne može muškarac varati ženu onoliko koliko se žena može praviti da mu je vjerna - Zdravko Mamić

Bolje biti muškarac jednu noć nego žena cijeli život - Stipe Mesić

Nisam primjetio da mi se žena davi. Urlala je kao obično - Željko Rogošić

Ako nemate ženu kupite poster. Jeftinije je, samo se slabije čuje - Brad Pitt

Novac kvari čovjeka al' ne kvari ženu - Arsen Dedić

Kad ugleda ženu, muškarac postane lovac. Kad ulovi ženu, muškarac postaje lovina - Mile Dedaković

Strangers in the night, AIDS in the morning - Frank Sinatra

Ne može muškarac varati ženu koliko žena može varati muškarca - Ilirska preporodna

Kada brod tone prvo ga napuštaju žene i štakori - Horatio Lord Nelson, admiral

Žene imaju PROBLEM za svako rješenje! - Stephen W. Hawking

Sve djevojke su divne! Otkuda do vraga ima toliko nemogućih supruga? - Al Bundy

Žena je raj za oči, pakao za dušu i čistilište za džep - Sacha Gutry (1885. - 1957.)

Ne trčite za ženama... da se ne sudarite sa onima koji od njih bježe - I.K.,bivši suprug Jadranke Kosor

Kažite mi uzrok: znam da se iza njega skriva žena - Beaumont

Kako da razumijem ovo: "Ubiti se zbog jedne žene?" A gdje su sve one ostale? - Tin Ujević

Jebo ženu, čuvaj zdravlje! - Andrija Hebrang jr.

Bog je izmislio pijance da ružne žene ne ostaju same - Charles Bukowsky Jr.

Žena je kao konzerva sardine - ili je zatvorena ili se usmrdila - Sir Winston Marlboro, 1952.

Žena je poput termoakumulacijske peći - grije dok je puniš. - dr. Vlado Sirovina, direktor HEP-a

The best goalkeepers in the world are WOMEN - no matter how much & which way you fuck them, your balls will never go in! – David Beckham

Žena s pet zvjezdica ista je kao i ona s jednom - Courvoiser

Zasto žene imaju kratka stopala? Da stanu bliže sudoperu. - Stevo Karapandža, kuhar

Nikad ne vjeruj sjaju u očima žene! To je vjerovatno svjetlo što prodire kroz njenu šuplju glavu - Nikola Tesla, siječanj 1939.

Ne vjeruj ženi koja laže.- narodna

BOLJE SOKOL U RUCI NEGO GUSKA U KREVETU - Filip Šovagović

Da žena što valja i bog bi je imao - Tomás de Torquemada

Jedna žena je pola đavola, dvije žene deset. - Nadbiskup Josip Buzančić

Da je Bog htio da žene budu jednake Muškarcima i one bi bile muškarci - Južnoafrička

Sve žene u krevet - Stara Uzbekistanska

Muškarac je Muškarac a žena je žena - Moammar al Gathaffi

Žena ili ne uživa kad je supruga, ili uživa kad je kurva i nema nikakav status - Jean Paul de Goule

Dođe maca na vratanca - Josip Broz Tito

Ako je žena u dnevnoj sobi, znači da je lanac predugačak! - Propalo društvo bolesnih umova 1941.

Wolkswagenova vrata i ženska usta najlakše se zatvaraju jednim jakim udarcem – Rudolf Hess

Pitate me šta bi se dogodilo kad bi bacio bombu u svoju kuhinju ? Kaos bi ostao isti samo bi ženino zvocanje prestalo. - moja narodna

Kada izumru žene pripitomit ćemo neku drugu životinju. – Dr. Charles Darwill

Žene su ko' orasi, ne vrijedi ih milovati - treba ih tucati - Zvonimir Rogoz, pokojni

Zašto žene ne komentiraju utakmice? -Ne mogu nogometaši toliko brzo trčat koliko mogu žene brzo pričat! – Miroslav Blažević, ex predsjednički kandidat

Truck for sale !!!

 
A fifteen year-old boy came home with a new Chevrolet
Avalanche and  his parents began to yell and scream,
"Where did you get that Truck???!!!"
He calmly told them, "I bought it today."
"With what money?" demanded his parents. They knew what a
Chevrolet Avalanche cost.

"Well," said the boy, "this one cost me fifteen dollars." So
the parents began to yell even louder. "Who would sell a truck like that
for fifteen dollars?" they said.

"It was the lady up the street," said the boy. I don't know
her name they just moved in. She saw me ride past on my bike and asked me if
I wanted to buy a Chevrolet Avalanche for fifteen dollars."

"Oh my Goodness!," moaned the mother, "she must be a child
abuser. Who knows what she will do next? John, you go right up there and see
what's going on." So the boy's father walked up the street to the
house where the lady lived and found her out in the yard calmly planting
petunias! He introduced himself as the father of the boy to whom she
had sold a new Chevrolet Avalanche for fifteen dollars and demanded to
know why she did it.

"Well," she said, "this morning I got a phone call from my
husband. I thought he was on a a coffee break, but learned from a friend he
had ran off to Hawaii with his mistress and really doesn't intend to come back.
He claimed he was stranded and asked me to sell his new Chevrolet
Avalanche and send him the money. So I did."

Pravilo zubne higijene broj 1

 

Slučajnost

 

Prvi u borbi protiv terorizma

 

Mandarina Airlines

 

Avio kompanje

 

Natpis

 

Igra asocijacije

 

Darwin Awards

 

Overheated Engine
2004 Honorable Mention
Confirmed True by Darwin "Maybe I used too much paper."

(7 January 2004, Croatia) Eastern Europe is known for its harsh winters, and Zlatko, 52, had seen his fair share of them in his town near Zagreb. But when temperatures dropped low enough to play havoc with outdoor machinery, Zlatko was exasperated to find that his Opel Kadett had fallen victim to the cold, repeatedly refusing to start.

The engine must be frozen, he decided. He remembered times he himself had been freezing in those icy Croatian winters. There was nothing better than warming up before a toasty roaring fire. Yes! That was clearly the solution to his problem. A roaring fire would warm up the Opel's engine.

Zlatko fetched some old newspapers, stuffed them under the engine, and lit them. While waiting for the engine to warm up, he wandered off -- a fortunate occurance, because his beloved car exploded in a fireball. The heartbroken man told reporters, "I couldn't start the engine and realized it was frozen. Now my lovely car is destroyed."

Luckily, Zlatko has identified what went wrong.
"Maybe I used too much paper," he said.

Warn a Brother

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Baby Fido ad

 

Iz bračnog života

 

Hoooo - ruukk

 

Blonde Joke

Once upon a time, a blonde became so sick of hearing blonde jokes that she had her hair cut and dyed brown.

A few days later, as she was out driving around the countryside, she stopped her car to let a flock of sheep pass. Admiring the cute wooly creatures, she said to the shepherd, "If I can guess how many sheep you have, can I take one?" The shepherd, always the gentleman, said,"Sure!"

The blonde thought for a moment and, for no discernible reason, said,"352." This being the correct number, the shepherd was,understandably, totally amazed, and exclaimed, "You're right! O.K.,I'll keep to my end of the deal. Take your pick of my flock."

The blonde carefully considered the entire flock and finally picked the one that was by far cuter and more playful than any of the others.

When she was done, the shepherd turned to her and said, "O.K., now I have a proposition for you. If I can guess your true hair color, can I have my dog back?"

Crnogorski turisticki oglas

 

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