From the Court House

Defense Attorney: "Will you please state your age?"
Little Old Lady: "I am 86 years old."
Defense Attorney: "Will you tell us, in your own words, what happened the Night of April 1st?"
Little Old Lady: "There I was, sitting there in my swing on my front porch on a warm spring evening, when a young man comes creeping up on the porch and sat down beside me."
Defense Attorney: "Did you know him?"
Little Old Lady: "No, but he sure was friendly."
Defense Attorney: "What happened after he sat down?"
Little Old Lady: "He started to rub my thigh."
Defense Attorney: "Did you stop him?"
Little Old Lady: "No, I didn't stop him!"
Defense Attorney: "Why not?"
Little Old Lady: "It felt good. Nobody had done that since my Abner died some 30 years ago."
Defense Attorney: "What happened next?"
Little Old Lady: "He began to rub my breasts."
Defense Attorney: "Did you stop him then?"
Little Old Lady: "No, I did not stop him!!!"
Defense Attorney: "Why not?"
Little Old Lady: "His rubbing made me feel all alive and excited. I haven't felt that good in years!"
Defense Attorney: "What happened next?"
Little Old Lady: "Well, by then, I was feeling so "spicy" that I just laid down and told him "Take me, young man. Take me!"
Defense Attorney: "And did he take you?"
Little Old Lady: "Hell, no! He just yelled, 'April Fools!' And that's when I shot the little bastard."