Rice - Bush conversation

George B.: Condi! Nice to see you. What’s happening?
Condoleeza R.: Sir, I have the report here about the new leader of China.
George B.: Great. Lay it on me.
Condoleeza R.: Hu is new leader of China.
George B.: That’s what I want to know.
Condoleeza R.: That’s what I telling you.
George B.: That’s what I’m asking you. Who is the new leader of China?
Condoleeza R.: Yes.
George B.: I mean the fellows name.
Condoleeza R.: HU.
George B.: The guy in China.
Condoleeza R.: Hu.
George B.: The new leader of China.
Condoleeza R.: Hu.
George B.: The Chinaman!
Condoleeza R.: Hu is leading China.
George B.: Now whaddya asking me for?
Condoleeza R.: I’m telling you Hu is leading China.
George B.: Well, I am asking you. Who is leading China?
Condoleeza R.: That’s the man’s name.
George B.: That’s who’s name?
Condoleeza R.: Yes.
George B.: Will you or will you not tell me the new name of the new leader of China?
Condoleeza R.: Yes, sir.
George B.: Yassir? Yassir Arafat is in China? I thought he was in the Middle East.
Condoleeza R.: That’s correct.
George B.: Then who is in China?
Condoleeza R.: Yes, sir.
George B.: Yassir is in China?
Condoleeza R.: No, sir.
George B.: Then who is?
Condoleeza R.: Yes, sir.
George B.: Yassir?
Condoleeza R.: No, sir.
George B.: Look, Candi. I need to know the name of the new leader of China. Gewt me the Secretary General of U.N. on the phone.
Condoleeza R.: Kofi?
George B.: No, thanks.
Condoleeza R.:You want Kofi?
George B.: No.
Condoleeza R.: You don’t want Kofi.
George B.: NO. But now that you mention it, I could use a glass of milk. And then get me to U.N.
Condoleeza R.: Yes, sir.
George B.: Not Yassir! The guy in U.N.
Condoleeza R.: Kofi?
George B.: Milk! Will you please make the call?
Condoleeza R.: And call who?
George B.: Who is the guy in U.N.?
Condoleeza R.: Hu is guy in China.
George B.:Will you stay out of China!?
Condoleeza R.: Yes, sir.
George B.: And stay out of the Middle East! Just get me guy in U.N.
Condoleeza R.: Kofi?
George B.: All right. With cream and two sugars. Now get on the phone.
( Condi picks up the phone.)
Condoleeza R.: Rice here.
George B.: Rice? Good idea. And a couple of eggs rolls, too. Maybe we should send some to the guy in China. And thze Middle East.

T-shirts

  

Stone Age Printer

  

A virus !

  

Anti - virus

  

You have mail

  

Stone Age computers

  

Golf, eh...

 
A mother passing by her daughter's bedroom was astonished to see the bed was nicely made and everything was picked up. Then she saw an envelope propped up prominently on the center of the bed. It was addressed, "Mom." With the worst premonition, she opened the envelope and read the letter with trembling hands:

Dear Mom: It is with great regret and sorrow that I'm writing you. I had to elope with my new boyfriend because I wanted to avoid a scene with Dad and you. I've been finding real passion with Ahmed and he is so nice-even with all his piercings, tattoos, beard, and his motorcycle clothes. But it's not only the passion Mom, I'm pregnant and Ahmed said that we will be very happy. He already owns a trailer in the woods and has a stack of firewood for the whole winter. He wants to have many more children with me and that's now one of my dreams too. Ahmed taught me that marijuana doesn't really hurt anyone and we'll be growing it for us and trading it with his friends for all the cocaine and ecstasy we want. In the meantime, we'll pray that science will find a cure for AIDS so Ahmed can get better; he sure deserves it!! Don't worry Mom, I'm 15 years old now and I know how to take care of myself. Someday I'm sure we'll be back to visit so you can get to know your grand children.

Your daughter, Judith

PS: Mom, none of the above is true. I'm over at the neighbor's house. I just wanted to remind you that there are worse things in life than my report card that's in my desk center drawer. I love you! Call when it is safe for me to come home.

Parking za pijance

  

Bra sizes

 Have you ever wondered why A, B, C, D, DD, E, F, G, and H are the letters used to define bra sizes?
If you have wondered why, but couldn't figure out what the letters stood for, it is about time you became informed!

(A} Almost Boobs...
{B} Barely there.
{C} Can't Complain!
{D}! Dang!
{DD} Double dang!
{E} Enormous!
{F} Fake.
{G} Get a Reduction.
{H} Help me, I've fallen and I can't get up ! !

They forgot the German bra.

Holtzemfromfloppen!